Are You Like An Alcoholic?

Chan Crawford
Jan 15, 2018
4 min read

There was a time, when I worked with substance abuse clients. These clients were the hardest not because substance abuse is a legitimate physical disease, but because these were the hardest clients (in my experience) to convince to take responsibility. It's not their fault, but avoiding emotions (which is what the alcohol is for), caused them to avoid responsibility for their actions.

Now, I’d never saying anything is your fault, 100% of the time, ever! However, there IS ALWAYS a portion of what’s happening that falls in your hands. If you don’t take responsibility for that part, you will never see change. Sorry to break it down for you that way, but it's true.

Let me give you an example of how this happens…

The Background Story

Let’s say that you are struggling with alcoholism, and continue to lose jobs, time and time again. You can’t always afford professional help, or treatment, and you are in this endless cycle of abusing alcohol, losing your job, and then abusing alcohol again.

This all started in childhood, when your mother told you that you weren’t ever gonna’ be worth anything. I know, it's harsh, but it’s real. So the way you see it, this is your mom’s fault. Who tells their child that they will never amount to anything? How could a mother tell an innocent child that they aren’t worth anything, and never will be?

Due to this experience, you figure you can start drinking and partying, since you won’t amount to anything, anyway. You believed her when she said it then, and you believe her, now. When you keep seeing how alcoholism is ruining your life, you figure you are just living up the potential you’ve always been destined for. Your mom was right. You aren’t worth much, so you might as well keep drinking away your life. After all, this is the only way you know how to deal with your feelings…

Who's Fault Is This?

NOW TECHNICALLY, this did start with your mom’s hurtful words, as a child. This started as her fault. You didn’t know any better, when you were younger. You still might not know any better. However, after so long, you have got to take responsibility for your own life, and stop blaming what your mother said, on all your adult life decisions.

When you are a child, the information you get is filtered. Your parents, teachers, and peers only give you the information they want to. If this is all you get when you are a child, you can’t help that. BUT AS AN ADULT, you have the ability to get access to anything you want to know.

Start Thinking

You now can start to look at how other people like you (struggling with alcoholism) deal with it. How are other people successful at maintaining sobriety? Are there other people who were told they wouldn’t amount to anything? Did they turn that around? Do I want this for my life?

Ask Questions

Start asking questions. Look for people who understand you, and that can help you figure out a different way to live. With google at our fingerprints, and constant access to the internet, everywhere we go, there is no reason you can’t look up any question you have, and see what other people have to say about it. Follow those people who give you the answers you are looking for.

This is the part that IS YOUR RESPONSIBILITY. Looking for a solution, is your job. Committing to taking action to make a change, is your responsibility. So, although this started out as somebody else’s fault, it becomes your fault, when you do nothing. When you just allow life to happen TO YOU, and don’t look for what YOU CAN DO, to change your circumstances, you will always remain the victim.

Victim or Victor?

Get out the victim boat, and become the victor. Take responsibility for your role in making a change in your life, for the better. While you might not be an alcoholic, this applies to any situation in your life that you feel you don’t have control over. Things you have control over are: your stressful job, your home workload, your study habits, your relationship choices, and the list goes on…

Of course, you know I always say, if you’d like help from a professional, I’m here for you! Shoot me an email at chan@beautyofgrowth.com, about your concern, and I’d be happy to help 😉. Otherwise, you can google help, guys. There’s no excuse. Other sources of help are church leaders, pastors, counselors, support groups, trusted and unbiased friends, self-help books, and Jesus. You might even know what to do, but just haven’t taken action.

My Challenge To You

My challenge to you is to look at your own life, and evaluate any circumstances you do not like. Look up any and every solution that seems feasible. Then write down some small steps you can take to start working toward the change you want to make for your