Stop Giving A F***

Or in kinder words...

Stop Caring What People Think

I must admit, caring what others think took a long time to break, for myself. I am a recovering perfectionist, so my internal criticism was probably even higher than what others thought of me. Once I learned to let go (mostly) of these imaginary standards for myself, I also let go of what I thought others were thinking about me.

The only thing that matters to me now (mostly), is my thoughts about myself. I also care greatly about what God thinks, but that’s a different story for a different day. There was a time where I would become so stressed about making a mistake at work, or giving people the impression that I’m stand-offish, even though I’m clearly an introvert.

Through a long journey of self-acceptance, I learned to let go of those thoughts. Once I started investing in taking care of myself, I started to care less and less about what others thought. There was once a time when I was married, and I cared so much about what my husband thought, that I lost sight of myself. I forgot about my own needs, and fell into a deep depression, focusing so much on pleasing my husband that I wasn’t happy with myself. I put on so much weight, that I was even more depressed, and my health just continued to decline.

Threat To My Health

After becoming the heaviest I had ever been in my life, I started to work toward some personal goals. I started eating healthier and working out, and after seeing results, I started to see the light. Self-care was my way out. It was my light out of the darkness. Once I got back to my needs, I realized that making myself happy was more important than what anyone else thinks.

After all, if you aim to please any one else, but you hate yourself, where does that leave your life?

So, after learning that lesson, and losing about 65 lbs of fat, I found myself. I became obsessed with the whole process of losing weight because it challenged my thoughts. Even though losing weight is a physical thing, it helps mentally as well. Why? Because when you see that you can physically do things, you thought you could never do, you start to think you can MENTALLY do things, you never thought were possible, as well! This was the most exciting change in my life by far!

Sharing The Light

This is something I want to share with you. So many of us look at social media, and think that other people have their lives together, because they only see the highlights. We also think others are judging us because of what we think of others when we look at them. We think that people are going to care about the number of kids we have, if we are single, or married, our weight, or what level of schooling we have finished (well at least those were my thoughts).

The fact of the matter is, while people may have passing thoughts of their own about your life, it doesn’t mean that it is accurate. Just like you assume things about another person’s life, they assume things about yours. Even if they were to guess the truth, it doesn’t matter. Their opinion about your life will not dictate your happiness. The illusion that we can show others this “ideal life” and boost likes about yourself is just that…an illusion.

The Illusion

Listen. Leave the illusion behind, or create a new one. If you’d like to believe an illusion so much, how about you create the illusion that YOU DON’T CARE. Maybe then, you’ll start to believe that, too. The truth of the matter is, no matter what we do, there will always be someone who doesn’t like what we do. So why not, do what you love, and let them dislike that, instead of doing something you don’t even like to please others?

I mean it really is as simple as that.

Easier Said Than Done

Look, I know that letting go of these things is a little harder than it sounds. To tell you the truth, it was a process for me, that took time. If you’d like me to help you find a way to embrace who you are, and live life with more peace, joy, and fulfillment, I’d be happy to help. I can take a look at your life, and help you make that change, if you’d like it.

In the meantime, I encourage you to try and do the things you enjoy more often. Put your partner’s, kids, friends, and boss’s opinions in the back of your mind, and just enjoy life a little. See how that turns out for me, and then let me know how that goes.

Much love and encouragement,

Chan; your life coach at the [BOG].

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