7 Best Tips For Changing Habits

Making life changes can be really difficult, or....just annoying. Most of the time we know we need to make a change, and know how to do it, but we can't seem to will ourselves to get it done. The truth is, changing a habit and making it stick can be two different things. We can do something different for a day or two, but then how many of us go back to the way things were? I mean, really, how many times have people started a diet, or new exercise plan, and then went back to lounging on a couch after two weeks. Probably 80% percent of people after New Year's. Well, I'm here to give you some proven tips to help you break those bad habits, and keep the new ones in your life.

7 Best Tips To Changing Habits and Making Them Stick

1. Ask Yourself Why

Lots of habits that we have are ones that have been formed since childhood. The truth of the matter is, the way we have been doing things, are most likely comfortable to us. We don't change a habit, even if it's killing us, because it is inside our comfort zone. So, before you start yourself on your new exciting journey for change, really take a look at why you want to make the change. What is the reason behind it? Is it beneficial to you? Is it a negative or positive change? Will it benefit someone else? Is it for temporary relief, or is it good for you in the long-run? After all, a habit is something that will stick with you for life, once you've successfully developed one. The ones you have now, you have had them for year. New habits will eventually become your new 'norm', and you will likely be stuck with them for years. Think about your future, and if you want to be stuck with this new habit, years from now.

Also, make sure that a change is for yourself. When a boyfriend, or a friend tells you to make a change that is mostly for them, or for others, you are less likely to find motivation behind making a change. Even if they are right about your negative habit, it doesn't matter. Until you are ready to make a change for yourself, and can see the benefit or the change, you shouldn't solely do it for someone else. Make sure that your new habit is something you really want, so that you can find true joy and motivation to stick with your new habits!

2. Take Realistic Baby Steps

Everyone knows that change doesn't happen over night. We have to grow in the womb for 9 (well really 10) months before we can be born. But still, this concept doesn't stop this generation from wanting everything instantly, including results. Blame modern society for its constant demand for instant everything. This very thing, has so many of us stuck in the cycle of I-want-this-now-but-it's-not-happening-so-forget-it. I know. Suck it up. You must learn patience. But the easiest way to deal with the fact that you can't get to step 10, without doing all 9 steps beforehand, is to take baby steps.

Be realistic about the changes you want to make. You won't be able to go from sitting on the "Couch to 5K" in a night, lol. Accept it. Furthermore, when you set a smaller goal, it takes much less time to accomplish it. You are proud of being able to accomplish that milestone, and it gives you a boost of confidence to defeat the next one. Before you know it, you're halfway to the finish line, and it's easier to keep going forward, than to look back. Taking baby steps is also a compromise. It does give us that feeling of accomplishing something much quicker (than the long term goal). It also helps pass the time with progress, as you move toward your bigger, end-goal.

3. Reward Yourself

Speaking of smaller goals, it is okay to be proud of accomplishing the small feats along the way. Creating some incentive, or reward is one sense of motivation you can use to help you stay on track. Keep in mind, that you don't want to drain your bank account (always shopping), or endangering your health (overdosing on drugs or something) because you accomplished something. Think of ways you can treat yourself, but don't over do it, to the point of self-destruction.

Okay, story time: [don't worry it's short]. I once had a goal of getting up early (I work evening shift, don't judge me). I would finally reach my goal of waking up early everyday, all week. But then on the weekend, I would celebrate with a drink (just some light white wine, I promise). So, every time I did this, I would wake up groggy the next day, and sleep in, throwing my body clock back off. Then I would have to start the week all over, from step 1, forcing myself to get up on time. I went through this vicious cycle, until I finally figured out that I can't sleep in on the weekend, if I wanted to stick with my new early morning habit. So, in order to do that, I had to give up my delicious cup of wine, on Friday night, and exchange it for a nice bath or balcony read. I could go back to drinking my wine, of course, once I got my habit down pat, but until then, I had to say goodbye.

So, the moral of the story is, treat yourself with something that will benefit you and keep you on track, not thwart your efforts to keep going. In other words, if it ain't broke, don't fix it.

4. If at First You Don't Succeed...

In the words of our beloved, Aaliyah (or her writer), (or probably someone else from the 50s that failed to make that phrase popular)...GET BACK UP AND TRY AGAIN.

Too many times, we start on a new journey, and eff up. We beat ourselves up for not being able to be a freakin' God or Goddess and change overnight, so we give up. WTF, man? We already discussed how baby steps help us make smaller, and more realistic changes. So let's discuss our attitude during this change, too. If you fall off track, get your ASS back up and try again the next day. But in nicer terms, think of your failure to succeed this day, as a minor hiccup. Not an end to all means.

Pretend your best friend messed up, and tell yourself, what you would tell them.

When we mess up, we tend to be our worst critics. We secretly tell ourselves "you're a loser, you can't do anything right, you will never change, etc...". But if it were our best friend who cheated on a diet, would you tell them that? Would you actually tell your best friend, "you're a loser", because they messsed up. My guess is, no (besides a few psychopathic, heartless, bums out there). So fix what you tell yourself. Be kind to yourself about your hiccups, and keep trucking. The only way to reach the finish line is to keep going, no matter how many times you fall. Besides, going back, only means it will take that much longer to get there. And quite frankly, ain't nobody got time for that. Onward.

5. Make A Plan B

Ok, not the pill guys, but kind of. Well, when plan A fails, you need to have the option of Plan B, readily available. Let's use an example to demonstrate this:

You just started your new gym routine, and you have been doing a good job getting to the gym after work for two weeks, now. One day, you forgot your gym clothes at home, and want to find that as an excuse to skip your gym day. You've got all kind of excuses now as to why you can't go back home and get your gym clothes. It takes too much gas, it will be too late by then, I'll get stuck in traffic, etc.... Well if you have a backup plan, like keeping a bag of gym clothes in your trunk or work, you can easily fix this.

In other scenarios, where habit changes are a bit more complex (changing the way you talk to your spouse, proscrastination, cheating on your diet), a plan B might not be possible. In these cases, we revert back to Tip #4 (Get Back Up and Try Again). If you've already messed up, and there isn't anything you can do about it now, don't dwell on it. Plan B can simply be taking care of yourself. Be kind to yourself, recognize the mistake, and try again next time. Giving up is never the answer. So, exercise some self-care in the mean time. After all, changing a habit can be hard work. You probably deserve some self-care, just for being brave enough to make a positive change for yourself, anyway :-).

6. Ask for Help

I don't know where people get the idea that they have to do everything on their own. I mean, seriously. It's a ridiculous notion. Unfortunately, that doesn't stop us from thinking that we have to do everything by ourselves, that we don't need help, and that we have to keep everything to ourselves.

Ask For Help.

You might find it surprising how much faster you can get somewhere with the help of someone else. Forget the embarrassment of your old ways. Forget judgement. Think about the way you will feel when you hit the finish line. After all, your support system should be happy to see you get there, and feel even better about helping you get there, if they could. How many times have you seen your loved ones struggling to do something, and you just wished there was something you could do to help? I'm willing to bet your loved ones are thinking the same way, and are just waiting for you to ask them to help you. Would you be ashamed of your friend if they asked for your help? Would you think any less of them? No. So, why think others will assume that about you? In any case, if they do think this way about you, they probably shouldn't be supporting you anyway. Rethink their position in your social circle, boo. That's not love.

Asking for help also can hold you accountable. When you tell your loved ones about something you are trying to do, they will likely check in with you on it, every now and then. Those simple check-ins can be really good reminders to get back on track if you fell off, or are unfocused. It can also be a really good confidence booster if you have done well since the last time they have checked in with you, giving you motivation to press forward :-)!

7. Consult an Expert

While most changes can be made with patience, and these lovely tips provided above [:-)], some habits require the assistance of an expert. Challenges like these may require assistance with deeply rooted emotional blocks, that need to be challenged to overcome. Toxic relationship patterns, relationship behaviors, or self-harm behaviors are a few examples of this. These kinds of changes can be difficult to make on your own, and may require the assistance of a counselor, pastor, life coach, or similar source. Even if you think you can do it on your own, it may be helpful to consult someone who has experience with the issue at hand. You may see results much faster, or even see things in a new light, considering perspectives you may not have thought of before. Ultimately, the best thing is to get your new habit established, as soon as possible, and having an expert guide you, can be the best course of action.

So there you have it! 7 glorious tips to help you along on your road to change rehab. After all, changing your habits can seriously change your life for the better. The sooner you get to it, the sooner you get to enjoy the benefits of the change. Good luck with everything, and know I'm always available for questions, if you have any!

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Signing Off,

The [Bog].

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